Image

My amazing, semi-nonweird kiddo

My amazing, semi-nonweird kiddo

This is my kid, and he is awesome. I am the weird one for sure. My little two year old is so innocent and loving and trusting. The way he sees things makes my heart light up. I wish I could still see things like he does. But, alas I am no longer the innocent soul I once was. I was just sitting here thinking about how we all started out being just as innocent as he is. I once only worried about my next door neighbor, Bubba, knocking over my sand castle. Then, all I worried about was the school play. Next, it was on to the fashion and being into the “in crowd”. On to the grades and what I thought were the pressures of the world in high school. Would I make the team? Would I have something to do on Friday night? Why wasn’t I pretty/skinny/cool enough?

I never thought about the fact that my parents were footing the bill. Free house, free clothes, no bills… aaaahhhh no bills. I rushed through the easy times in life yearning to be an adult. My own rules. My own choices. If only I knew then what I know now… Hindsight, right?

Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing life, a wonderful husband, a beautiful child, two beautiful children by marriage, a JOB, a roof over my head and anything we Americans need for securities. (or at least what we feel is secure..you know, the necessities…) But, I’ll be honest with ya’, sometimes I wish I could go back. Slow down. Take my time, and still have my knowledge of today. I know I would do a million plus one things differently.

We all grew up, and most of us made it to the real word with a good head on our shoulders. We all have families now. I wish I could freeze my innocent child and keep him small forever. It scares me to think that he will not always be the way he is now. He will grow up. He will learn. He will make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them. Am I the only one who wishes to shield my child from this scary thing we call life? Because that’s exactly what it is. Scary. Insecure and scary. I guess life is all about choices and pathways, losing your innocence and gaining experience, and working through this world one day at a time. I just hope and pray that I can steer our children in the right direction so that they may not make the same mistakes that lie in their pathways as we did. Scary. So, so, very scary